When you are young, dating and exploring life’s many possibilities, your only concern should be you.Your wants, your dreams, your goals, and your standards are all you need to adhere to. There is no need to compromise your needs for anyone or anything at such a volatile time of self growth.
I talked before about paying attention to the “red flags” you see when dating or when you first meet someone in So You Want To Find Bae? 7 Things You Need To Know, but didn’t go into specifics.
Of course, red flags will vary from person to person, as we all have things that we find to be a priority to us, but some tell-tell signs that is time to stop wasting your time and keep it moving include:
When dating, this is one of the most important aspects. If your desire to hold a conversation with the other, much less even respond starts to fade, it might be a sign you should cut it off. The same thing goes the other way around. When phone calls and texts become less frequent with no explanation, take it as a sign something shady is going on. No one is too busy for someone they care about. You make time for what you want to make time for.
There is no way to have a healthy and happy relationship of either a romantic or platonic nature if honesty isn’t in the mix. Of course we all tell little white lies or omit details, but if you feel the need to tell a BOLD FACED lie and feel no remorse, that means the feelings of the other person don’t matter much to you. Just let it go and let them find someone who cares enough to keep it 100 with them. On the other side of the coin, if you can tell you are being lied to, cut them off. They aren’t trippin’ off of you, so don’t trip of them. Someone who lies to you or makes constant excuses for their own sake doesn’t have much respect for you anyway. Let them run their mouth to someone else.
If someone is making you feel insecure or uncertain about your place, its typically apart of “the game.” You know the game. The one where you strategically do or say things to keep the other guessing. Well that is all fine and dandy, until someone is sitting there lost in the sauce about what the hell is really going on.
Personally, I don’t think there should be a time in any relationship where you feel that you have to question your stance.
“Are we talking?”
“Are we exclusive?”
Does s/he really fwm?”
Don’t waste your time with someone who keeps you in limbo.When someone is really feeling you, you know it. It will show through not only their words, but through their actions as well.
If you go from talking to someone like they are your best friend to pulling teeth to have a conversation, it’s over. You should not have to force conversation with anyone, especially someone you are attempting to build a relationship with. Boring and bland conversation is someone’s way of slowly dropping you without having to say it. “Mia, how do you know? Well, I’ve been the victim and I’ve been the culprit (oops), so I can only share what I have seen and have done.
There are far more important things to be focused on in your personal journey than to entertain someone for the sake of your phone not being dry or wanting to have someone to go on dates with. Your time and your spirit is precious. Spend it with people whom you enjoy being around, who better you as a person, and genuinely care about your well being.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, and as long as you keep focusing on you and your own growth, the right ones will come to you. In the meantime, don’t put up with anyone’s bullshit for the sake of “not being alone.” There is nothing wrong with dropping what you don’t deserve, to get what you really want.